My last kick in the gut.

My last kick in the gut.

woman looking at sea while sitting on beach

Have you ever had an experience in life where you felt as if you failed? Or maybe you were in a relationship with another and feel you did everything on your part, however you were let down? Do you feel like you failed yourself, or maybe it feels more like life failed you at this point? Or the more extreme and maybe you or your loved one has had to hear the scariest words of life and death, becoming painfully aware of a bleak future? I have, and I’ve decided I have had my last kick in the gut.

Challenges and hardships are a natural part of the ebb and flow of life but just having this knowledge doesn’t stop us from feeling hurt and upset when something we didn’t expect happens. We think to ourselves, “Why in the world is life kicking me in the gut? How many times do I have to be strong enough to put myself out there before my luck turns around?”

As we have all experienced to one degree or another, life is hard. I’d be lying if I told you that it will always work out in your favor. Sometimes people we love die, sometimes we get fired for no reason at all, sometimes our businesses fail even though we put our heart and soul into them. Oftentimes it makes no sense at all! Why do we even try? Why bother?

I ask myself the same questions when life throws me the unexpected, which is quite frequently if I were going to be honest.  The fact is, life is a chaotic and random process that operates beyond anything our mind can comprehend. Just when you feel as if you figured a couple of things out, “Boom!” You get hit with another gut wrenching obstacle.  “What.The.Hell.Life?”

As living and breathing human beings we simply exist in a a sort of “current”. We are a part of this thing called life.  I believe there is a true ebb and flow to everyone’s life and if you pay attention to your life over the years you will start to find that you have up and downs.   Lows, highs, peaks and valleys.   This is how our universe operates, scientifically speaking – through contraction and expansion. It’s how things grow. It’s also how things become stronger.

Did you know that metal sharpens metal?  A blacksmith continually burns and cools a slab of metal that he pounds on repeatedly until it is a sharp sword that can cut through literally anything. This piece of metal is you! And this burning and cooling is your life process. Life will kick you in the gut and then it will offer you a hand to pull yourself back up – it seems like a contradiction and sometimes it makes no sense.

I have found myself giving a middle finger to life on occasion and I have wondered about God.  And other times I find myself having a true emotional breakdown complete with tears, finding that I have been moved to the deepest grace and in awe of the beauty and mystery of it all. 

Sometimes life is a walking contradiction that makes no sense. Please embrace the inconsistencies of life and as difficult as it may be, heed my advice to never take it too seriously. This is where your attitude towards life comes in handy.  Remember your attitude determines your altitude.

Would it confuse you if your best friend punched you in the stomach and then gave you a helping hand to get back up?  Of course nit would!!  Life is not your best friend but this is the perfect analogy of what life does. And if you take it too seriously with all the ups and downs will drive you crazy. 

This is why where emotional distancing comes in to play, in all aspects of your life. Do not attach yourself to the outcome. 

I am sure you are wondering how you can do anything and not be attached to the results, right?   All I’m saying is don’t  do things ‘for a reason’.  Oddly enough, this doesn’t mean doing things for no reason. It means doing things and taking action but not putting your happiness on the end result turning out the way you have planned.

If you always put your happiness on the end result then you’re in for the roller coaster ride of your life.  The fact is, life will always throw you curveballs.  Life will punch you in the gut with one hand and then pull you back up with the other.  You will remain much more emotionally intact if you accept the ebb and flow of life and practice emotional distancing.

I am not advising you to withdraw from life or activities, you can still take action, you can still be just as or even more passionate than before, and remain  intensely involved in this world and life yet remain detached to the outcome. 

Perhaps we all need to learn to be like water,  we’ve all seen water somewhere meet a block of some kind – a downed tree, curb, literally anything can be in its way but yet the block doesn’t stop the water.  Water simply flows around the obstacle.   What’s even more interesting is that when water gets trapped,  it simply sits and waits until a new passage opens up. When a new passage opens up then watch and you will see that the water dives in full force and follows the stream of life.

So as you feel like you’ve been dealt a bad hand, or you’ve been kicked in the gut be like water, flow with life, practice resiliency, and don’t be attached to an outcome you’ve planned in your head.  xoxo

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